[IELTS] Problems while living in big cities

IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)

Many people around the world are choosing to move to live in cities. What problems do people experience in big cities? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller towns?

Planning:

Problems:

-confusion of using transportation; ex. Not knowing which line they should take

-air pollution - too many cars; emit gas

-crowded

-traffic congestion - tardiness in going to work

Solutions of Gov’t:

*transfer to rural area

-gov’t subsidy - tax cuts

-gov’t provide housing to city people to transfer in rural areas

-enhancing the transportation system in rural places

(Introduction)

It is undeniable that the number of people who prefers to reside in metropolitan areas is significantly increasing.There are critical problems that affect the quality of life to city people, I think it is just right for the government to recommend those people to transfer in rural places.

(Body 1)

To begin with, the confusion of using transportation can be expected while people are living in metropolitan residences. For instance, when people need to go [to] somewhere, they have too numerous options that it might makes them to decide their transportations in a complicated way. Moreover, the implication of the excessive number of vehicles is air pollution that can result in making people’s quality of life devastated. Furthermore, heavy traffic congestion can negatively affects the time of commuting to workplaces. This makes people’s valuable time wasted on the roads, which also has adverse influence on their daily life and productivity.

In order to resolve those problems, following solutions should be helpful in that they are realistic and feasible for governments. First and foremost, the method of granting subsidies such as tax cuts can be possible so that people are willing to reside in small scale cities. Secondly, providing housing to city people to transfer to the provinces is possible to be considered in that those who are planning to transfer to new areas are mainly concerned about their financial condition. It will change people’s perception on the plan optimistically. The Last but not least, the transportation system in rural places should be enhanced, which enables people to go to metropolis in a convenient way.

Notes:

The third sentence is too long and it is beating around the bush. Please make it straight to the point.

(Conclusion)

In conclusion, since residing in metropolis causes several issues that negatively affects people’s overall quality of life, the governments should immediately take actions in order to solve the problems.

RED - delete/omit

ORANGE - add the word

DARK GREEN - edit