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'Writing Task 2'에 해당되는 글 31건

  1. 2019.06.22 [IELTS] The fourth: computer skills
  2. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Supporting for arts or public health and education
  3. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] News having no connection to people's lives
  4. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Working from home instead of travelling to a workplace
  5. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Licences for smokers
  6. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Focusing on all subjects or a single subject
  7. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Argument of International tourism
  8. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Solving problems for the future, not for the past
  9. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] The style of building houses
  10. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Using the Internet for living a full life
  11. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Employment over the age of 60
  12. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Having a detailed plan for leisure activities
  13. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Living and working in vertical or horizontal cities
  14. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Influence on children when working in foreign countries
  15. 2019.06.21 [IELTS] Compensation for stay-at-home parents
  16. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] Causing problems when holding international sporting events
  17. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] Damaging the nature with the increase in production of goods
  18. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] Dependence on other people
  19. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] Teaching their children about money
  20. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] The value of the old or young
  21. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] Excessive spending on family celebrations
  22. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] The increasing number of old people
  23. 2019.06.20 [IELTS] Hobbies that require technology
  24. 2019.06.19 [IELTS] Using social media on daily basis
  25. 2019.06.19 [IELTS] Providing free public transportation facilities
  26. 2019.06.19 [IELTS] Free access to music and films online
  27. 2019.06.19 [IELTS] Paternity leave
  28. 2019.06.19 [IELTS] Living on their own
  29. 2019.06.19 [IELTS] Purpose of working hard
  30. 2019.06.19 [IELTS] Problems while living in big cities

[IELTS] The fourth: computer skills

Jake/English 2019. 6. 22. 00:16 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
We have three important parts of education reading, writing and Math. Some people think every child will benefit from a fourth skill added to the list: computer skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Planning
1. People cannot live without computer nowadays. Everything is related to computers.

2. Many tasks can be accomplished easily by using computer skills. Increase productivity in the workplaces.
3. Have better opportunities to get a job. Requires programming languages that can develop software applications.

It is said that the significant sections of education consists of reading, writing and mathematics, while computer skills should be added to the 4th important section of education because they will be advantageous for children. I steadfastly agree with the statement since computer plays substantial role in contemporary society.

To begin with, there are several reasons for supporting that learning computer skills is necessary for youngsters. First and foremost, in the modern society, people cannot live without computers, and everything is relevant to computers. In fact, by using computers, people enjoy the convenience of computers which give them better quality of life. Moreover, computers are profoundly embedded in our lifestyle. Accordingly, if the young students do not learn how to use computers, they might be fall behind from the society with state-of-the-art technologies.

Secondly, it is obvious that numerous tasks can be accomplished without difficulty by using computer skills. The reason for this is that a great number of tasks are related to computers, so it will increase productivity in schools and the workplaces. Lastly, youngsters are able to have better opportunities to get jobs. The augmenting demand for software engineers makes the young students to be well prepared in programming languages which are vital for developing software applications. In this regard, acquiring computer skills is an obligation for the youth to be proficient in their workplaces.

In conclusion, I entirely believe that children should retain computer skills as they can benefit children’s future quality of life and fields of interests.

IELTS Writing Task 2
(Question)
Some people believe that the government should support in providing funds to arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Planning
Agree
  1. Develop arts industry
  2. Represent culture, increase reputation
Disagree
  1. There are other things which should be invested to help people’s lives
  2. It is artists' duty to make their living.


It is said that arts industry should be financed by the government, whereas the fund needs to be spent for public health and education. While some advantages can be seen in the former view, I steadfastly agree with the latter view.


To begin with, there are two principal reasons why the  government should provide assistance to artists. First and foremost, it can contribute to the developing arts industry. The reason for this is that artists normally struggle with making a profit and they often fail to produce their masterpieces owing to financial issues. Moreover, artworks mostly represent a nation’s culture and play a significant role as landmarks. Accordingly, this will benefit countries as they  attract a great number of tourists, which can improve nation’s reputation and earn substantial profits.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that helping artists is a waste of money. It is obvious that other sections such as education, welfare, infrastructure and the like are essential since they are closely related to people’s everyday life. In other words, funding in public sections is vital for government to enhance citizens’ quality of life. In addition, artists should earn their own money because other professionals still try to make their living without government’s subsidy. Choosing their career as artists is solely their own personal decision so they have the responsibility to sustain their lives by themselves.

In conclusion, although there are some advantages when the government support art industry, I am strongly of the opinion that assisting public services is favorable.
(253 words)


[IELTS] News having no connection to people's lives

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 20:26 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people think that news have no connection to people’s lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is said that reading the news in the newspaper and watching television news programs are a waste of time because there is no connection between the news and people’s lives. However, I totally disagree with the opinion as I believe that the news benefit people’s lives substantially.

To begin with, there are several reasons for supporting that getting information from the news is useful. First and foremost, people can get a great deal of information about various things most especially government policies. For instance, in terms of a real estate policy, people will know the best time where to invest on properties. Thanks to the news, having better opportunities for people to be prepared in investment is possible. One note to mention is that knowing news about policies enables citizens to criticize and protest the government’s misleading policies.

Secondly, the news can provide people with price index. This can make people smart in purchasing essential goods and commodities. In fact, some tradespeople sell their merchandise with expensive price compared to average prices. In order not to experience fraud, people should get well informed of price index. Furthermore, news about health is needed for people not to get ill and keep their health with the best condition as there are a lot of useful information that can make people know much about being healthy.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that news is a crucial part of people’s lives since it contains valuable information to help in improving their quality of life.
(251)

IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day.
Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?


Planning
  1. Can reduce the number of smokers
    Way of imposing penalty to them
    Cost of purchasing licence will be a burden for smokers.
    -> Can reduce secondhand smoke -> improve the quality of public health, less chance of having lung cancer
  2. Cannot make adolescents to buy cigarettes
    Good for youngsters not to get indulgence to smoking
  3. Can increase government’s finance
    Improve welfare, cost of welfare can be supported


It is said that requiring smokers to buy an annual licence is a one of ways to decline the number of smokers, which illustrates their legality in purchasing their cigarettes. I steadfastly believe that the given policy must be conducted to reduce the number of smokers.

To begin with, there are three principal reasons why obligating smokers to buy an annual licence is recommendable. First and foremost, it can diminish the number of smokers dramatically since this can be a way of imposing penalty to them. The reason for this is that the cost of purchasing licence will be a burden for smokers. Resulting from the decreasing number of first-hand smokers, there will be higher possibility of minimizing secondhand smokers as well. Accordingly, it will improve the quality of public health as the great number of detrimental factors can be declined.

Secondly, the method cannot allow adolescents to buy cigarettes which is a way of preventing them from smoking at an early age. It is a fact that youngsters are vulnerable to harmful materials as it can hinder the development of their growth. This also can be beneficial for youngsters not to get indulgence to smoke. Lastly, the increase of government’s finance can be achieved since this can make smokers pay additional money to buy annual licences. In this regard, with this amount of money, the quality of welfare will be enhanced, which is significantly beneficial for the government to sustain their welfare policies.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that making smokers to pay for licences should be encouraged for having a great deal of benefits to the public.
(269 words, 43 mins)

[IELTS] Licences for smokers

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 02:13 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
It has been suggested that one way to reduce the number of people who smoke is to require smokers to buy an annual licence which must be shown to legally purchase their cigarettes.
To what extent do you agree with this suggestion?
Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own knowledge and experience


Planning
  1. Can reduce the number of smokers
    Way of imposing penalty to them
    Cost of purchasing licence will be a burden for smokers.
    -> Can reduce secondhand smoke -> improve the quality of public health, less chance of having lung cancer
  2. Cannot make adolescents to buy cigarettes
    Good for youngsters not to get indulgence to smoking
  3. Can increase government’s finance
    Improve welfare, cost of welfare can be supported


It is said that requiring smokers to buy an annual licence is a one of ways to decline the number of smokers, which illustrates their legality in purchasing their cigarettes. I steadfastly believe that the given policy must be conducted to reduce the number of smokers.

To begin with, there are three principal reasons why obligating smokers to buy an annual licence is recommendable. First and foremost, it can diminish the number of smokers dramatically since this can be a way of imposing penalty to them. The reason for this is that the cost of purchasing licence will be a burden for smokers. Resulting from the decreasing number of first-hand smokers, there will be higher possibility of minimizing secondhand smokers as well. Accordingly, it will improve the quality of public health as the great number of detrimental factors can be declined.

Secondly, the method cannot allow adolescents to buy cigarettes which is a way of preventing them from smoking at an early age. It is a fact that youngsters are vulnerable to harmful materials as it can hinder the development of their growth. This also can be beneficial for youngsters not to get indulgence to smoke. Lastly, the increase of government’s finance can be achieved since this can make smokers pay additional money to buy annual licences. In this regard, with this amount of money, the quality of welfare will be enhanced, which is significantly beneficial for the government to sustain their welfare policies.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that making smokers to pay for licences should be encouraged for having a great deal of benefits to the public.
(269 words, 43 mins)

[IELTS] Focusing on all subjects or a single subject

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 02:12 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects while others think they should focus on subjects in which they are best and find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Planning
All subjects
  1. Can experience various kinds of subjects
    Give opportunities to search for subjects which youngsters are fond of
  2. Can expand wide range of useful knowledge
Easy to communicate with people using wide range of knowledge
Increase common sense
Specific
  1. Can be useful in developing students’ career
  2. Can start enhance their speciality earlier than other students


It is said that the young students should focus on all kinds of subjects, whereas some believe that they should concentrate on their favorite subjects. Although studying particular subjects can give some advantages, I steadfastly disagree with that idea.

To begin with, there are two principal ideas for supporting that youngsters should study specific subjects. First and foremost, learning more deeply in particular subjects can be useful in developing students career. This is because they can start enhancing their speciality earlier than other students. In this regard, they will be able to occupy the prowess in their pursuing fields. Moreover, from that reason, it is possible for the societies to gain experts for sustaining national competitiveness. By making students to be involved in their major subjects, industries can obtain a great number of talented employees in the future.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that learning all sorts of subjects is considerably important for the young students. It is due to the fact that studying various kinds of knowledge can give a number of opportunities to search for interests which youngsters are fond of. In addition to this, it is expected that the young can expand wide range of useful knowledge which is related to daily life. The reason for this is that when they become adults, numerous subjects can be helpful since they contain beneficial common sense in order to live wisely and independently. Furthermore, it will make students communicate easily with other people using vast range of knowledge.

In conclusion, although it is believed that the advantages of studying only short range of subjects are good for students to develop their careers, I am of the opinion that the benefits of learning a variety of subjects outweighs the advantages of only studying particular subjects.
(289 words, 44mins)

[IELTS] Argument of International tourism

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 02:11 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
International tourism is a good business but can lead to fights instead of understanding between tourists and locals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Planning
International tourism

I agree
(1) can give opportunities to make tremendous revenues for local businessmen
(2) can be beneficial in terms of solving misconception of foreign cultures. Can inform of the real traditions. They look local communities in real. Can ask the reality of the misleading concepts. Influx of tourists can be expected

It is said that global tourism is a beneficial business, but sometimes it causes conflicts between tourists and local residents by not acknowledging each other. I steadfastly believe that international tourism is advantageous for local communities.

To begin with, there are two principal reasons for supporting that global tourism is highly recommendable for residents. First and foremost, it can give a great deal of opportunities to make tremendous revenues for local businessmen. The reason for this is that most of the tourists have plenty of money in their wallets to enjoy valuable vacations with beloved ones. In this regard, they are willing to pay a lot of money for purchasing souvenirs and local foods and the like. Accordingly, a large number of tourists play a significant role in local communities’ income, which can also contribute to the national economy.

In addition to the first reason, the advantages of international tourism are obvious in terms of solving misconception of foreign cultures. This is because numerous foreign people are aware of misleading information on the internet. It is a fact that tourists can inform the genuine traditions by experiencing their authentic cultures in the real places. Thanks to this, local communities can expect further influx of tourists by understanding their cultures. In addition, people who have visited local places can share their valuable experiences to potential visitors.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that one cannot emphasize too much the significance of international tourism on the basis of local economy and correcting misleading information.
(250 words, 41 mins)

IELTS Writing Task 2
(Question)
People should focus more on solving problems related to the future, and should not spend time thinking about the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Planning
Agree.
Past. irrevocable, irreversible better to keep on thinking about future that people are able to make constructively. Cannot always blame the things that already passed

It is said that solving future issues should be more focused and people need not to think about the things in the past. I firmly agree with the statement that concentrating on the past is detrimental for developing one's’ future.
- One’ future. Great intro!
To begin with, there are two principal reasons for supporting that solving upcoming problems is more significant. First and foremost, obsession with past events is an obstacle for making better future. For example, even if there is a great chance to improve one’s life, people can be reluctant to grab the promising opportunity. It is because they experienced the failure that made them dreadful. According to this situation, it is recommendable for people to overcome the past trauma, and need to be ready for having alternative chances to develop their quality of life.
TOPIC SENTENCE - This is the exact way on how to use this kind of structure, after saying there are principal reasons you immediately write the first reason. When you use this structure make sure is not a repetition of your INTRODUCTION.
In addition to the first reason, since past occurrences are irreversible, people should not stick to them. In fact, it is obvious that there is a possibility to recover the past. The reason for this is that future is not decided so people can change their future based on present life. The past is irrevocable, and I strongly believe that people should think about what they can do for the better future. Moreover, the optimal way of resolving the statement is that people should not do the same mistake that took place in the past, and step forward to the future based on the previous valuable experiences.
Move forward - is best to use
In conclusion, I think that confining to the past events is not the best option for making a enormous success in the future as they are unchangeable. - direct to the point! Very good!
(267 words, 45 mins)

[IELTS] The style of building houses

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 02:10 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2
(Question)
Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others believe that local governments should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Planning

Follow the local house style
1. Can expect harmony of style. Beautiful neighborhoods.
2. As a way if respecting neighborhoods, local residents can make strong bond, relationship. Beneficial for the future.

Build my own style
1. Can express owner’s characteristic.
2. All people have right to have freedom of doing what they want within the range of laws. They spend their own money for building a house.


It is said that when building new houses, they need to be built in the similar style of the local houses, whereas allowing people to build houses in their own style is acceptable. There are advantages in both sides, but I strongly believe that building houses in their own preferences should be encouraged.

They - write people, you only use pronoun when the word people is already mentioned in the beginning. Pronouns are referencing to something mentioned before.  

No comma needed after ‘sides’

On the one hand, there are two principal reasons for supporting that following the local house is advantageous. First and foremost, it can be expected that the harmony of the 1.house style can make neighborhood beautiful and balanced. However, if there is a house with different style, the trend of house style in local residences 2.will be broken. Moreover, applying the local house style to new houses can be seen as a way of respecting neighborhoods. According to this, local residents can make a strong bond, which is beneficial for the future.


1.House design - alternative
2.think of another word to say it as the word broken is weak in that aspect
3.no need comma after bond



On the other hand, two rational reasons can be expected when people are free to build their houses with different styles against local house style. Firstly, it is because people are having their own style of living, and can make their dream house feasible. It is the fact that all people have their own lifestyle so it is preferable for them to form their house based on their life habits. Secondly, all people have a right to have freedom of doing what they want within the range of legitimacy. In addition, they spend their own money for building their priceless houses.

On the one hand /On the other hand - are the same, use another expression to transition. Avoid starting your topic sentence in Body 1 and 2 the same.

In conclusion, although following the local house trend can be reasonable, I strongly believe that in order to be suitable for people’s lifestyle and take the right for granted, building houses with their own way is desirable.
(283 words, 45 mins)


[IELTS] Using the Internet for living a full life

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 01:51 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2
(Question)
It is not necessary to have access to the Internet to live a full life. What is your opinion?

Planning
I don’t agree
  1. Have free access to the Internet without spending extra time to get places where they take place - time and money can be saved for transportation.
  2. There are various kinds of entertainments that cannot be feasible in reality
    - games virtual reality can fulfill people’s desire that they imagine can be obsessed with…
  3. Convenience of working in home

It is said that having access to the Internet is unnecessary in order to live a wonderful life. However, I firmly disagree with the statement based on two primary reasons.
To begin with, there are two principal ideas for supporting that the Internet positively affect people’s life. First and foremost, owing to the characteristic that provides people with having free access to the Internet, it becomes possible not to spend extra time and money in order to go to real places for enjoyment. Since people are dwelling on the modern society, I believe that they have rights to enjoy the benefits of the Internet. Moreover, there is a tendency that most people are already obsessed with smartphones these days. From this trend, It can be seen that people cannot live without the convenience of smartphones which makes their lives pleasing.
The other reason is that there are various kinds of entertainments that cannot be feasible in reality. For example, online games and contents related to virtual reality can fulfill people’s desire that they imagine. In fact, some of them can alleviate people’s stress from their daily routine and workplaces. Accordingly, even if those are not the real facts but it plays significant role in people’s lives as a method of pursuing happiness. Furthermore, it is inevitable that the Internet is essential for living in the society since everything is generally connected to the Internet.

In conclusion, I am steadfast of the opinion that the advantages of the Internet can be helpful for living most especially in the modern society.
(254 words, 47 mins)


[IELTS] Employment over the age of 60

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 01:50 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2
(Question)
Some people believe that employment over the age of 60 is not right and creates lots of problems. So people should retire after 60 and not work.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Agree
  1. Cannot provide the early careers with sufficient job opportunities. For example, difficulty of getting jobs for graduating students is prevalent
  2. Based on the workload, the old do not work the same intensity than in the past. However, they have far more income than young employees.
    It is acceptable since they are veterans and decent capability derived from long experiences in their fields. Exchange the generation

It is said that people who are over 60 years old are not suitable for the employment and causes a great deal of issues, so it is recommendable for them to retire. I entirely agree with the statement based on two primary reasons.
First and foremost, if the old workers keep their positions, the young workers cannot get sufficient job opportunities. In fact, it is a global tendency that difficulty of getting jobs for graduating students is prevalent. Since the youth should be the significant source for sustaining societies, it is essential for them to experience in workplaces as early as possible. This is because they need to contribute taxes to the government to finance the welfare of the elderly. Accordingly, even though the old employees are still possible to work in their companies, it is time to give chances for the young workers or professionals.
In addition to the first reason, the payment is unbalanced since workload is an issue since the old workers do not have enough strength like they had in the past. From my experience, it can be assumed that the revenue of the old employees doubled or tripled compared to the early employees. Even though it is acceptable that all employees should be rewarded on the basis of their capabilities, as a method of increasing more job vacancies for graduating students, the society can be vigorous in generating more young power. Furthermore, companies cannot be sustainable when they have full of old workers, so the exchange of the generation is inevitable for the companies to sustain for the years to come.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that through the dismissal of the old employees, a great deal of benefits can be anticipated for maintaining our society.
(300 words, 40 mins)

[IELTS] Having a detailed plan for leisure activities

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 01:08 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2
(Question)
Some people think that it is a good idea to have a detailed plan for activities to do in their free time. Other disagree with this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Planning
Detailed plan (O)
Why? To use free time more efficiently. Free time is limited -> making plans can use their leisure time wisely. Not wasting their valuable free time. High possibility of having successful leisure time. Can do more activities when they are already reserved.
Not Detailed plan (X)
Already live in a routine life. Need to be flexible. Even making plan makes people get stress. No need to be constrained when they have free time. Detailed plan cannot be successful?

It has been said that having a detailed plan can be a decent idea when people have spare time for doing activities, whereas it has been dissented by other people. While there are benefits of having a detailed plan, I steadfastly believe that making a scheduled activities is not recommendable.
To begin with, there are two supporting ideas that detailed plan is necessary for leisure activities. First and foremost, the efficient use of free time can be achieved, since the amount of free time is mostly limited. According to this, it is the optimal method that cannot make people’s valuable spare time wasted. Secondly, there is a high possibility of having successful leisure time. People who have sophisticated plans can do a variety of activities because they already made reservations for those activities.
On the other hand, I believe that people who think that it is useless to make precise schedule for activities are of the opinion that they are already live in a routine life. For that reason, they do not need to be constrained when they spend spare time for activities. Moreover, even making a strict plan can be stressful since people need to do numerous things to prepare. In fact, it is assumed that people cannot focus on their works due to the various kinds of things to be considered while in the workplace. Furthermore, it is obvious that there are great deal of activities that do not require any reservations.

In conclusion, although well-planned activities can be effective because of the limited amount of free time, I strongly agree that no preparation of activities for free time is far better.
(274 words, 45 mins.)


IELTS Writing Task 2
(Question)
Some people believe that living and working in vertical cities where most of the buildings are high is best, while others believe that living and working in horizontal cities where there are few high buildings is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Planning
High buildings
Breathtaking views. Spectacular views can be provided. Can accommodate large number of people. Living in the same building with many people can be convenient, for example apartment. Many amenities can be sued. Much cheaper since lots of people pay for it. Feel that people are living in a modern society.

Low buildings
Easy to make gardens. Raising flowers. More opportunities to meet neighbors.
Takes up large areas. Cost of making transportation route is high


It is said that it is optimal for people to reside and work in vertical cities, whereas horizontal cities are better for dwelling and working. I steadfastly think that residing in vertical cities would be beneficial based on rational reasons.
To begin with, there are two principal ideas for supporting people who advocate horizontal cities. First and foremost, living in low level buildings makes people easy to organize their garden in their yards. From this reasons, people can feel the sense of achievement subsequent to seeing well-organized gardens. Secondly, residing and working in the horizontal cities can give more opportunities to interact with neighborhoods. In fact, since numerous building and shops are located by facing door to door, it is highly possible that people can encounter each other frequently.
Note: this reason

On the other hand, I firmly believe that residences and companies with skyscrapers can be advantageous compared to the low-height buildings. Obviously, it is possible to have easy access to spectacular views when people live and work in vertical cities. Moreover, since high-story buildings can accommodate the great deal of number of people, dwelling and working in skyscrapers can be convenient. For example, when people live in apartments, there are various kinds of built in facilities and amenities that can be utilized. Thanks to the large number of people living in the same apartment, the maintenance fee is far affordable than living in a conventional house.
Notes: a great number of; built-in
In conclusion, although people can be refresh and feel the sense of neighborhood, I strongly believe that staying in high-story buildings can provide more benefits for people.
Note: Although people can be refreshed and feel the sense of neighborhood in horizontal cities
(262 words, 45 mins)

IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people believe that parents moving to other countries for work will give benefits to children while other people believe that it will affect children’s development. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.



Planning
Benefits for children
  1. Experience new cultures
  2. Widen perspective - can understand diversity

Negative development
  1. Unable to make friends - lack of communication due to language barrier
  2. Different culture - foods are not suitable, cannot gain nutrition. Not eating
  3. Discrimination - different race, alienate, unsocial



It is said that there will be advantageous when children live in foreign countries due to their parents’ work, whereas negative development can be experienced by their children when they are abroad as thought by other people. I steadfastly believe that residing in their home countries is beneficial compared to living in foreign countries.

A group of people think that it is beneficial for children to live abroad with their parents due to their parent’s work while others think that it causes negative development to children. I steadfastly believe that residing in their home countries is beneficial compared to living in foreign countries.



To begin with, there are two principal benefits for children to stay in foreign countries. First and foremost, experience of new cultures can improve the children’s perception of other nations. Since children can go through various kinds of traditions, they are able to understand cultural diversity. Secondly, perspective of viewing world is widened, which enables children to be creative. The reason for this is that children can be flexible in thinking a certain idea by undergoing different experience from home countries and foreign countries.

On the other hand, negative development can be yield due to the basis of three ideas. Firstly, children are unable to make close friends as there is a language barrier, which leads them not to communicate with peer groups. Moreover, owing to the different culture, providing children with suitable foods cannot be achieved because children cannot have the same opportunities to eat their local foods which they get used to eating. This can induce them to have biased diet causing deficiency in nutrition. The last reason is that there is high possibility of experiencing discrimination because of their race, so they are alienated from their peers, which causes antisocial behavior and juvenile delinquents.

In conclusion, although it can be seen that there are beneficial things when children dwell on foreign countries, I firmly believe that pessimistic aspects are dominant.
(256 words, 50 mins…)

[IELTS] Compensation for stay-at-home parents

Jake/English 2019. 6. 21. 00:04 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some stay-at-home parents think they need to be compensated by the government. Do you agree or disagree?


Planning
Yes
B1: Inevitably stay at home. Suspension of career development. Sacrifice for their family. Pitiful.

B2: Solutions.
Give opportunities to continue to develop career
  1. Online learning - time, distance are not constrained. Easy access to
  2. Activate vigorous stay-at-home work. - can obtain career development and earn money while in home.



It is said that parents who do not work should have compensation from the government. I steadfastly agree with the statement based on a primary reason and I think that the government has the obligation to improve their lives.

To begin with, there is a principal reason why parents who are stuck in their home need some reward. The capital reason is that parents have no choice but to suspend their career development. As they inevitably stay at home as a means of sacrificing for the family, government should be condemned for not coping with this issue. Every parent has one’s own dream to pursue, so owing to the abject circumstance, parents should not abandon their jobs, which can cause them not to feel their value. Moreover, it is pitiful when people perceive that they have no choice but to commit to their family without having any career.

I consider this phenomenon as a problem that needs an urgent solution to show support to all the mothers who have lost their careers just to take care of their family.
Firstly, online learning should be provided for caged parents, since time and distance are not constrained. In other words, they have free access to learning what they want, so they can have great opportunities to continue to develop their desired career. Secondly, it is recommendable for the government to provide the parents with stay-at-home works. This lead them to develop their careers as well as earn some amount of money while staying at home.

In conclusion, I believe that government should support parents who devote their time taking care of their children at home as they cannot continue to develop their career.
(269 words, 46 mins...)

IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people think that large international sporting events cause many problems to the host country and it is not worth holding it. Do you agree or disagree?


Planning
Disagree.
1. Awareness of country increase. Good for enhancing national competitiveness.

2. Can cause national debt. But restaurants and shops can have tremendous income from visitors.

3. Unifying people from all over the world.



It is said that numerous issues are caused to the host country when holding magnificent global sports events, which is useless to the nation. However, I totally disagree with the statement based on valid reasons.

To begin with, there are several principal reasons why taking place international sporting games is advantageous even if some issues are caused. First and foremost, I believe that it is no doubt that the index of the country’s awareness and reputation increases when the government advertises the event with its nationality. For this reason, there will be a benefit of enhancing national competitiveness. Thanks to this positive aspect, the host countries will have more opportunities to take high or equal position in international trade. Accordingly, even though the amount of national debt can be augmented owing to the large preparation for events, host countries have further expectation for overcoming the debt after the sports events.

Secondly, it is the fact that becoming the venue for renowned sports festivals is not only just raising awareness of nationality but also informing of the host countries’ assorted cultures. Due to this benefit, people who are doing business related to traditional eatery and tourism have high potential of earning tremendous profit during the period of events. In fact, not even in the period of the sporting event, it can be inferred that there will be a growing number of tourists after international matches. Lastly, by means of unifying people from all over the world, international sports matches can play significant role. Since a vast number of people come from various countries, there will be a great chance of getting along with foreigners. Moreover, it will be a great chance to introduce and understand cultures, so that both local and foreign people can be familiar with each other’s behaviors and traditions.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that holding a large scale of sporting games is recommendable as it boosts the economic condition of the country and it improves the relationship with participating countries.
(333 words)

(simple way: As it provides more benefits than negative aspects)
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
There is an increase in production of consumer goods and this is damaging the nature. Why is this happening? What could be done for this? Support your writing with personal evidence or examples of your own.

Why?
  1. Poor recycling. Package is unnecessarily large. Consist of various kinds of materials. A lot of disposable products.
  2. Poor sense of citizenship. Indiscriminately throw away garbage on the street. Sea… when summer vacation. Tremendous amount of wastes are found … floating plastic bags can be obstacle for fish to breathe.

Solution
  1. More garbage cans. Concise package.
  2. Enact laws about

It is said that nature becomes devastated due to the increasing number of merchandises. The reason for this phenomenon is primarily caused by human activities and perception and both the government and people can improve the situation.

To begin with, there are two supporting ideas about the cause of the destruction on nature. First and foremost, numerous people are not aware of how to categorize recyclable wastes and necessity of recycling. In fact, they cannot be entirely condemned since unnecessarily large package consisting various kinds of materials also take a portion of the cause of environmental pollution. Secondly, there is a poor sense of citizenship that people indiscriminately throw away garbage on the street. For example, in summer vacation, it is often seen that a great amount of plastic bags is thrown on the sea, which can be an obstacle for marine lives to sustain living.

On the other hand, the situation can be solved by individual’s enhanced awareness of recycling and government’s endeavor. Education of recycling will encourage people to recycle properly, which will alleviate the environmental problems. In addition to this, it is recommendable to place more garbage cans, so that people are not willing to abandon their trashes on public places. Furthermore, imposing a great deal of penalty in disposing of trash illegally should be conducted in order to prevent environmental contamination from tremendous amount of trash on the earth. Obviously, enacting laws which force manufacturer to concise package of goods are feasible for declining excessive waste of resources.

In conclusion, to inherit the beautiful earth to descendants, all the people and the governments should attempt to precede the solutions, and people need to consider more about nature than in the past.

[IELTS] Dependence on other people

Jake/English 2019. 6. 20. 10:11 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people think that we are becoming independent of each other while other people say that we are becoming more dependent on each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Planning
People are being independent
  1. Individualism spreads out these days.
  2. Pursuing their own life. Privacy.
  3. Do not want to get disturbed. Various entertaining things are springing out than in the past.

People are being dependent
  1. A Lot of hazardous situations arise. When people are Out of home.
  2. Feelings of Relaxation, safety can be achieved if ones count on others.



It is said that some people are of the opinion that without relying on others is a growing trend, whereas others think that the number of people who are counting on each other is increasing. Those views have significant reasons, and I steadfastly believe the former opinion.

To begin with, high dependence on other people can be expected for some reasons. Firstly, it is primarily caused by a lot of hazardous situations which arise in the modern society. Even if it is said that there are numerous laws and equipment to cope with unexpected situations, when people are out of home, there is a high possibility of being taken accidents such as car accidents, firing guns at random and the like. Moreover, willingness to feel relaxation and safety is another reason for people to be fond of being dependent. I assume that this phenomenon is owing to the nature of human that is related to being protective from the strange environment.

On the other hand, I think that it is obvious that there are several reasons why people are gradually more independent than in the past. First and foremost, the gradual tendency of individualism spreads out these days. For example, in Korea before the influx of the western culture, it was a common behavior that neighbors help each other, which is called ‘Jung’, however, as the country is becoming industrialized and globalized, Koreans tend to simply care about themselves. In addition, people who are eager to protect their own privacy prefer not to get disturbed, and some of them would like to enjoy various entertainments in their private space.

In conclusion, although it can be seen that there are several dangerous incidents that occur nowadays, I believe that individualism and the importance of privacy caused people to be independent.

[IELTS] Teaching their children about money

Jake/English 2019. 6. 20. 10:08 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people think that it is a good idea for parents to teach their children about money. Why is it important to teach children about money? What is the best way for parents to teach children about money?

Planning
Why is it important?
  1. Money is essential for our lives. Capitalism. Everything can progress depend on money.
  2. Investment is the key for increasing one’s wealth. Interest rate is severely low, not only saving money but also investing to promising companies.

The best way to teach
I don’t know. They can learn it naturally.



It is said that it is parents’ responsibility to teach their children about money. There are several reasons for supporting the importance of educating the concept of money and the most effective method of teaching young people about money is making them understand the difference between the needs and wants.

To begin with, on the basis of some reasons, learning about money is crucial for young people. First and foremost, it is primarily because money is essential for all people’s lives. Since capitalism is a source for sustaining our societies, the education of financial knowledge is inevitable to live in the world. In addition, it is better to learn about money at an early age in order to rapidly realize the reality that money matters. Although investment plays a key role in multiplying one’s wealth, if the young are not aware of the significance of capital, they will continue being ignorant of financial matters.

As regard to the ideal way of teaching them about money, parents have the obligation to educate their children about priorities. For instance, when parents go shopping with their children, they have to remind their children about spending only to valuable goods. They buy things like foods, clothing, and other necessities, and avoiding to buy something that is considered luxuries. Aside from that, parents dine out with their children only in special occasions to avoid excessive spending, as dining out is not a priority. In this way, children can how to be wise spenders.

In conclusion, it is a must for every child to learn about money in order to have a prosperous future and parents should educate their children about prioritizing the needs.

[IELTS] The value of the old or young

Jake/English 2019. 6. 20. 10:07 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY

IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
In some cultures the old people are highly valued, while in others youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Planning
Old people are highly valued.
Old people have a lot of wisdom from their lifelong experience, can make better decision compared to youth. China made a religion, which indicates that old people have to be respected. At that time, it’s a norm for asian countries. it spread out over the asian countries. It is inevitable that all humans will reach the stage of old age. If youth do not respect old people, we will be treated as the same as we get old.

Youth is more valued.
Can do lots of challenging things.
Physically healthy. Do lots of activities.
Lots of potential. Promising ages for future. Should help them for better future society.

It is said that the elderly people are more valuable than the young in some countries, whereas others think that the young people are priceless compared to the old people. I strongly believe that it is the youths who are invaluable for maintaining the societies.

To begin with, there are several reasons why the value of old people is high in some countries. First of all, the elderly people can make better decisions compared to the youth based on the thing that they have various sorts of wisdom from their lifelong experiences. In addition, China made a religion, which indicates that old people have to be respected. In fact, at that time, it is a norm for most asian countries since China spread out it over the asian countries. Furthermore, it is inevitable that all humans will reach the stage of old age, so if the youth do not respect old people, they will be treated as the same as they get old.

On the other hand, I believe that one cannot emphasize too much the importance of the young generation. To explain the first reason, the young play a crucial role in sustaining societies with improving the birth rate and workforce. It is because young people have the ability to raise children to accommodate the works for the next generation. In addition to that, young people have more energy to cope with works that demand high physical activities. Second and last, having relatively less risk of challenge, young people have opportunities to do innovative experiments which can be a tremendous change for the future.

In conclusion, although old people need to be respected, based on youth’s numerous potential contributions to society, I firmly believe that the young are the ones who can contribute more to the society.


[IELTS] Excessive spending on family celebrations

Jake/English 2019. 6. 20. 00:07 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What are the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much on this?


Planning:
Importance:
1. A way of improving relationships. Fortifying family bond
2. To notify family’s event. Get well informed of one’s family. Live happily

My opinion
No, not all people. vast amount of money has spent on family anniversary. Some celebrities are reluctant to commemorate their weddings in luxurious places. Or to show that they are pursuing thrifty living. Personal traits.
to commemorate special event for families.


It is said that people have a tendency to pay huge amount of money on their birthdays and weddings. This phenomenon is primarily due to improving relationships, and I regard this as being unfavorable.

To begin with, there are two main reasons why family celebrations are significant. First and foremost, it is obvious that those events can be one of the best methods of improving family relationships. This is because most family members and relatives who reside in different areas, can be gathered to commemorate a member’s milestone. Secondly, family parties are necessary for notifying events of one’s family to loved ones. This can function as a way to show that they care about relatives, thus a person who is invited feels valued.


From my point of view, I object that people should spend prodigious amount of money on family anniversary. To be specific, it is not arguable for those who have the ability to afford to hold grand celebrations. However, people who are in need should not have to waste their money in commemorating family events, since those anniversaries are optional and they can use their money for other valuable purposes. Above all, it has been observed that people should show their wealth by giving a huge banquet, but nowadays there is an increasing trend that celebrities possessing large amount of fortune are willing to celebrate their weddings without using luxurious wedding halls. Furthermore, not having grand scale of parties which are wasting tremendous money, people still are able to commemorate their special days.
In conclusion, although it is believed that people are willing to spend excessively on their celebrations, I think nowadays people are thrifty when commemorating their special days.

In conclusion, although it is believed that people are willing to spend excessively on their celebrations, I think nowadays people are thrifty when commemorating their special days.




From my point of view, I believe that not all people are spending vast amount of money on family anniversary. Obviously it depends on one’s financial status, but without holding magnificent celebrations, proper amount of money can be spent for remembering their valuable anniversaries. What is surprising is that , however, nowadays, even if celebrities who have plenty of money for commemorating their anniversaries, some of them are reluctant to celebrate their weddings in luxurious places. I am not sure that they are truly pursuing thrifty living, but that phenomenon becomes a model for leading the rich to follow the trend.

Yes...unfavorable -> mention the reasons why they need to spend a lot
No -> mention the reasons why they become thrifty in celebrating these big and important events...

[IELTS] The increasing number of old people

Jake/English 2019. 6. 20. 00:07 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
The number of old people is increasing in many countries. Some people think this causes problems, while others think old people play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Planning
  1. The increasing number of old people causes problem.
  1. Old people tend to have conventional concepts compared to young people. Cannot keep up with modern society. Biased opinion based on their experience.
  2. Cannot secure national competitiveness. Lack of workforce.

  1. Old people play an important role
  1. Have lots of experience. Lots of wisdom could be helpful for youth
  2. Less physically demanding jobs

It is said that the increasing number of old people can contribute to societies, whereas it gives rise to social problems as others believe. Although it has both positive and negative effects, I believe that it evokes serious problems since they use their age as a weapon.

To begin with, there will be more reasons why old people play a vital role in societies, but the primary reason is that they own a variety of wisdom which are gained from their long period of experience. It is a fact that various kinds of wisdom are helpful for the youth who lack of experience in various fields. In addition to that fact, the elderly have the ability to foresee the consequence by remembering the same incident that occurred in their life. For that reason, giving pieces of advice for the youngsters is possible when they are needed to make significant decision. Moreover, old people can engage in works that require less intensity that young people avoid, which can assist in sustaining the society.

On the other hand, based on two notable reasons, I firmly believe that the augmenting number of the old induces troubles. First of all, the vast majority of old people tend to have biased opinion based on their experience over their entire period of life. It is because the elderly people have conventional concepts compared to young people, causing social conflicts between the young and the old. Furthermore, due to the decline of the birth rate, an aging society is approaching, so that the lack of workforce is inevitable. For that reason, it is impossible to secure national competitiveness, and the large quantities of people are likely to leave the countries.

In conclusion, even though the elderly people can take part in helping society, I consider the phenomenon as being pessimistic since ideological conflicts and lacking of workforce will take place.


[IELTS] Hobbies that require technology

Jake/English 2019. 6. 20. 00:03 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, while others do not. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Planning:
1. prefer hobbies that require technology
(1) state-of-the-art technologies can be enjoyable for those who are eager to experience innovation.
(2) hobbies that can be challenging. technology is related to advanced knowledge. have benefits that we can learn about technology
2. prefer hobbies that do not require technology
(1) those who want to be relaxed from daily routine, less tension when learning something that is not concerned with technology.
(2) the level of difficulty is relatively low compared to hobbies with technology, have free access to hobbies.



There is a group of people who are fond of technology-requiring hobbies, whereas there are some who prefer traditional hobbies. Even though hobbies which do not need any technology have several benefits, I firmly believe that hobbies that demand high technologies are more preferable.

To begin with, there are several benefits that can be experienced when having conventional hobbies. Firstly, it is recommendable for those who want to be relaxed from daily routine. This is mainly due to the less tension when learning something that is not concerned to technological knowledge. In addition, hobbies with less theories can provide people with free access, since they are mostly not required to know complicated background knowledge, but substantially associated with daily life. For example, it is the dedication and interests that enable potted plants to be well-grown, not knowing any knowledge of high technology.

On the contrary, I believe that there are some notable advantages when people have technological hobbies. First and foremost, state-of-the-art technologies can be enjoyable for those who are eager to experience innovation. Thanks to this point, people are able to feel that they are residing in an advanced age, and keeping up with modern society. For instance, the promising and being on the rising technology of DNN, acronym of Deep Neural Network, is applied for makers whose hobbies are related to creating electronics based on their preferences. Moreover, hobbies that are concerned with challenging technologies can give opportunities to be utilized for workplaces, which increase possibilities to be excellent and creative in jobs.

In conclusion, although having hobbies demanding no technology can offer several benefits, I strongly believe that the adequacy of cutting-edge technology is sufficient for people to take advantages from it while living in a modern society.

[IELTS] Using social media on daily basis

Jake/English 2019. 6. 19. 23:53 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
People are using social media on daily basis to keep in touch with others and for news updates.
Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Planning:
Advantages
  1. Can share news rapidly to numerous people in a convenient way.
  2. Not real friends no updates about them
  3. Sell something to
  4. Advertisement

Disadvantages
  1. Do not know whether the source is credible or not
  2. Wasting vast amount of time in using social media
  3. Superficiality, psychological problem, envious.


These days, social media is prevalent among people in order to get to know people’s life and learn about current affairs. I believe that the disadvantages are more significant than the advantages.

To begin with, there are several reasons why spending time on social media is unfavorable. First and foremost, the credibility of the source on social media is relatively at a lower level compared to the source on news from official broadcasting station. It is because all of people have free access to social media via Internet. In addition, not requiring any qualification but just registering an account allows users to write posts freely and share them rapidly even if the contents of them are false. For example, such as Facebook, one of the famous social media with open platform, that is being accessible to everyone,  does not demand reliability of information when users post it.

Secondly, it is commonly observed that the vast amount of time can be wasted by using social media. Obviously, a variety of entertainments are contained on social media mainly as a form of video, so that the possibility of spending time on videos is significantly high. From this reason, it impedes scheduled tasks like delaying the appointed time with an important person or skipping assignments, which results in inducing inefficient life. Last but not least, due to the fabulous experiences of friends, one can suffer self-pity about not having those activities in their life. From others’ superficial and envious experiences, people are vulnerable to have mental problems such as psychology of competition that people are striving to have better experience than others.

In conclusion, all things considered, I entirely believe that avoiding social media is recommendable as it deteriorates people’s quality of life and misleads them from inauthentic news sources.
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Government is going to provide free public transportation facilities 24/7 to reduce traffic congestion. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Planning:
  1. Agree
1) improve
2)
  1. Disagree
1) eventually increase high density of people on transportation. Free of charge , indiscreetly use public transport. Extremely long line, waiting for free transport. Especially rush hour. Demand more public transportation.
2) afford lots of money on maintaining public transport. Hire more drivers, more sweepers, less usage at dawn. Spend lots of money for minorities.

It is said that the objective of reducing traffic congestion can be achieved if the government offers free of charge public transportation without holidays. I firmly disagree with the idea that providing free public transportation is necessary.

To begin with, I believe that there are two main reasons why unlimited public transportation is unfavorable. First and foremost, high density of people on transportation is inevitable when they operate public transportation freely. It is because people are willing to take public transportation without any hesitation. From that reason, especially in the rush hours, it leads to have extremely long lines for waiting free transports. So, the demand for public transportation will be increased to accommodate tremendous passengers.

On top of that, owing to the previous reason, governments should allocate a huge amount of budget on maintaining public transports. To give some examples, transportation companies, which are contracted by the government, should hire more drivers to provide citizens with all day long free services. Despite less usage of transportation at dawn, they spend the same amount of maintenance cost for minorities. This policy can be seen as providing excellent welfare system. However, this indiscreet use of public transportation results from government’s excessive spending of taxes to compensate the transportation companies compared to not providing the public with free transportation.

In conclusion, due to the vast amount of cost of upkeep for transportation facilities and inducing long waiting lines, I believe that the policy of free public transportation is undesirable.


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[IELTS] Free access to music and films online

Jake/English 2019. 6. 19. 07:43 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Nowadays people have free access to music and films online. Is this positive or negative development? Provide relevant examples from your own experience.

Planning:
Positive
  1. More chances to experience various kinds of music and films. Give more options to customers/buyers. No need to visit store. (2)
  2. Provides opportunities to apply state of the art technology to content providing websites. Artificial Intelligent. Recommend music and films to customers by analyzing their trend of behavior in websites. Buy contents with iris recognition, fingerprint. Security transaction. (1)
  3. Blogs.. Write about the singer, actors. Evaluate their ability share ideas with numerous users. Comments. Websites for idols, singers, actors etc (3)
  4. Easy to search, well-categorized menus. Convenient. Various information at a glance. (4)

It is a fact that music and films are available freely via Internet. From my point of view, based on several reasons, I firmly believe that this development is beneficial.

To begin with, easy access to music and films can give opportunities to customers to apply state of the art technology to content-providing websites. For example, well-developed Artificial Intelligence technology is applied to websites in order to recommend music and films to customers by analyzing their trend of behavior in websites. To take another example, the technology of iris recognition and fingerprints is used to purchase contents as a way of secure transaction. Also, people are able to gain various and useful information at a glance by looking at a monitor. It is because, websites are neatly organized to search contents conveniently using well-categorized menus.

Moreover, the evaluation of artists’ abilities done by critics that are posted online, will help consumers decide whether or not to purchase music or films online.  More specifically, by using a method of sharing reviews on a certain artist, it is possible to affect customers’ behavior of buying. For instance, numerous writers write about singers and actors on their blogs, and blogging visitors leave comments on their posts to toss around opinions. Furthermore, there are more chances to experience diverse sorts of music and films when using them on the internet. It is favorable since customers will have more options to experience other music types and movies that they have never gone through.

In conclusion, the convenience for customers and the application of remarkable advancement of technology are the benefits of having the availability of music and films online.
(274)

(alternative)
In conclusion, the convenience for customers and the application of remarkable advancement of technology are the benefits of freely accessing music and films online.

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[IELTS] Paternity leave

Jake/English 2019. 6. 19. 07:39 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
All fathers should be entitled for a paternity leave when their child is born. What is your opinion on that?

It is said that after delivering a child from a mother, paternity leave is natural for every father. From my point of view, I firmly agree that all working fathers should be given the opportunity to spend time with their child and wife.

To begin with, it is not only mothers who should take care of their children but also fathers. It is because fathers also get involved in pregnancy. In other words, both parents automatically have obligations to raise their offsprings equally. In addition, the support of a husband can be necessary for a wife before and after a child is born. This is because there are numerous things like household chores that mothers cannot do during that period that fathers can take over.

Moreover, fathers can have an emotional attachment that mothers cannot provide. For example, in general, fathers are likely to possess tough character and this provides an emotional security to development of a child. Meanwhile, as mandated by law, companies are required to provide working fathers with paternity leave in order to spend time with their child and wife. In Korea, the government encourages working fathers who work in private and public organizations to take the opportunity to leave from work temporarily during the neonatal stage of their child. Through these reasons, the society is giving importance to the obligations of a father towards his wife and child.

In conclusion, It is a must for fathers to get paternity leave to be able to take part in the development of a child.

++ (Reference)
Planning
Paternity leave
Reasons.
1. Not only mother but also father should take care of children since they give birth to babies, they automatically have a duty, obligation to raise them
2. Father can have a variety of effects that mother cannot
3. neonatal period is significant period for babies to be adapted to the new environment
4. Can support wife, assist household chores
5. Emotional attachment
However, nurturing children is not an issue of weighing the importance between mothers and fathers, so
The maternity leave is commonly mentioned since mothers are the actual people who bear children. However, fathers
Last but not least, neonatal period is a significant period for babies to be adapted to the new environment.

[IELTS] Living on their own

Jake/English 2019. 6. 19. 07:39 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
In many societies, more and more people are choosing to live on their own.
What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Planning
Live alone.
Reasons :
1. Don’t want to get disturbed. Cozy atmosphere
2. Reluctant to expose one’s privacy. Privacy Infringement, don’t want to show their real characteristic, their habits, without roommates.
3. Enjoy their life less constraints for traveling to foreign countries, less spending, less preparation,

Why positive trend?
1.  They can consider themselves as being important and independent. They can invest themselves. Don’t have to sacrifice for others.
2.  Can arouse government's attention on their policy
3. Can improve the ability of being independent.

(Introduction)
It is a global tendency that the number of people who decide to reside by themselves is increasing. This phenomenon is primarily due to gaining freedom, and I regard this as being optimistic.

(Body 1)
To begin with, there are two reasons why people are fond of living independently(apart from their family). First and foremost, people do not allow others to invade their own privacy. This is because people are reluctant to reveal their real lifestyles, habits, and characteristics when dwelling with other people. Secondly, people merely do not want to get disturbed, which requires a comfortable atmosphere. More specifically, If a house accommodates more than two people, it is highly possible that the house will be filled with tons of noise, owing to vigorous communication.

(Body 2)
I consider this as positive because people can become responsible. Living on their own makes them learn how to budget their own money and manage to do household chores. For example, if they have a tight budget, they will learn how to spend their money in a wise way like buying the things that are just necessary for them. Moreover, this constructive tendency can arouse government’s awareness on fertility policies. Due to the skyrocketing cost of living, people are not willing to get married and give birth to babies, so governments can look back on current fertility policies.

(Conclusion)
In conclusion, since people are eager to enjoy their lives single-handed, and protect their own privacy, the given phenomenon is considerably persuasive.



++(Alternative Introduction)
Nowadays, the number of people who live independently is increasing across the globe. This phenomenon is due to attaining freedom and I think this is a favorable trend.

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[IELTS] Purpose of working hard

Jake/English 2019. 6. 19. 07:38 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Some people think that the only purpose of working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

planning:
agree or disagree :
agree : 1. financial reward can be useful in people’s livelihood -  capitalism
           2. able to have more opportunities that money plays an important role in - education, better career, money for surgery, investment
disagree:

(Introduction)
It is believed that earning a lot of money is a motivation for people to work hard. I agree with this idea.

(Body 1)
To begin with, it is obvious that financial reward is useful in maintaining people’s livelihood. This is because most of the global societies consist of capitalism, which result in obsession with money. In fact, it is needless to say that there is no possibility in that people can live without spending some amount of money in daily life. For instance, aside from the homeless, it is inevitable that cost of maintenance will be charged after using services that are essential for people’s lives such as electricity, water, internet bill, and the like. To take another example, paying taxes is mandatory to people in order for the governments to sustain as a result people need money.

(Body 2)
Moreover, I believe that people are able to have more opportunities whenever they have money. Due to the inability of affording advanced education, there is a tendency that the implication of widening income gap can be seen in the society. For example, pursuing Masters degree in Business Analysis will cost tons of money, but once people succeed in it, their salaries will be guaranteed to be doubled or tripled. Furthermore, sizeable wealth should be needed in case of medical surgery or investing to promising assets like real estate. As long as people are affluent with money, it is no bad thing to be prepared well for the unexpected situations. (As long as people are financially-secured, there is no worry about some unexpected situations that they might encounter. )

(Conclusion)
In conclusion, I firmly agree that wealth is one of the most essential components for making a living and that provides numerous chances to attain a convenient life.

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[IELTS] Problems while living in big cities

Jake/English 2019. 6. 19. 07:36 Posted by JAKE_SLEEPY
IELTS Writing Task 2

(Question)
Many people around the world are choosing to move to live in cities. What problems do people experience in big cities? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller towns?

Planning:
Problems:
-confusion of using transportation; ex. Not knowing which line they should take
-air pollution - too many cars; emit gas
-crowded
-traffic congestion - tardiness in going to work
Solutions of Gov’t:
*transfer to rural area
-gov’t subsidy - tax cuts
-gov’t provide housing to city people to transfer in rural areas
-enhancing the transportation system in rural places

(Introduction)
It is undeniable that the number of people who prefers to reside in metropolitan areas is significantly increasing.There are critical problems that affect the quality of life to city people, I think it is just right for the government to recommend those people to transfer in rural places.

(Body 1)
To begin with, the confusion of using transportation can be expected while people are living in metropolitan residences. For instance, when people need to go [to] somewhere, they have too numerous options that it might makes them to decide their transportations in a complicated way. Moreover, the implication of the excessive number of vehicles is air pollution that can result in making people’s quality of life devastated. Furthermore, heavy traffic congestion can negatively affects the time of commuting to workplaces. This makes people’s valuable time wasted on the roads, which also has adverse influence on their daily life and productivity.

In order to resolve those problems, following solutions should be helpful in that they are realistic and feasible for governments. First and foremost, the method of granting subsidies such as tax cuts can be possible so that people are willing to reside in small scale cities. Secondly, providing housing to city people to transfer to the provinces is possible to be considered in that those who are planning to transfer to new areas are mainly concerned about their financial condition. It will change people’s perception on the plan optimistically. The Last but not least, the transportation system in rural places should be enhanced, which enables people to go to metropolis in a convenient way.

Notes:
The third sentence is too long and it is beating around the bush. Please make it straight to the point.

(Conclusion)
In conclusion, since residing in metropolis causes several issues that negatively affects people’s overall quality of life, the governments should immediately take actions in order to solve the problems.


RED - delete/omit
ORANGE - add the word
DARK GREEN - edit


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